One is never fully mentally prepared for the loss of a loved one, I imagine. When it’s unexpected, it’s even more challenging to face the process death provokes. I have always felt extremely blessed in that I have not lost many loved ones so far in my life. I hadn’t lost someone whom I was very close to until very recently.

My grandmother, “Mociute” (Lithuanian for grandma), passed away this September. That was the first time I was really impacted by the process of “losing a loved one”, but I was well prepared for that event. She had been wanting to transition from physical form for at least four years at that point. She and I were extremely close and had a lot in common. She taught me to use my creative talents to keep me occupied and to make money with them. I will write a blog post about her in the future. ☺

I decided to write about such a subject today because once again death has visited my family. On Sunday morning, October 25th, 2015 my lovable teddy bear of a brother, Wade, passed away. He returned to source and we are all so grateful that his passing was peaceful. He died in his sleep.

We literally walked into the door of my dad and stepmom’s house in Kingman, AZ after driving up from L.A. when my dad gave us the news. He’d passed away that same morning. Crazy. Now Carlos would be meeting my whole family over here, and in mourning. Definitely wasn’t expecting that! Carlos is very adaptable and has just flowed right into the experience with an all supporting attitude.

Little by little family members are showing up from out of town and we are finding our place and where we are needed. We are connecting with each other in a very unique way and I just keep thinking about how hard it is for my parents to get us all in one place. For our mama, it must be very special and surreal, as her health has been quite weak for the past few years and to have us all together in this especially difficult time is a gift.

Carlos and I went to the Grand Canyon yesterday and it felt like a way to honor Wade and say goodbye in my own way. Tomorrow the whole family is planning to gather in celebration of his short but adventurous life. The funeral is on Saturday, Halloween.

Even though I use the common term “losing” loved ones, I don’t see it as loss at all. I see it as the closing of a chapter in the great story of life that we all star in. We each get a chapter. We also get to choose how we write it. I’d like to think that my brother chose to fill his with more positive than negative and the love that he shared with those around him inspired them to develop the kindness within them. He had a heart of gold and that never dies.

Thank you big brother, Wade.
May peace be with us all,